The greatest print ad ever made

My friend, Joe Holmes, is now a horse.

Joe always said when he died he’d like to become a horse.

One day Joe died.

Early this May I saw a horse that looked like Joe drawing a milk wagon.

I sneaked up to him and whispered, “Is it you, Joe?”

He said, “Yes, and am I happy!”

I said, “Why?”

He said, “I am now wearing a comfortable collar for the first time in my life. My shirt collars always used to shrink and murder me. In fact, one choked me to death. That is why I died!”

“Goodness, Joe,” I exclaimed, “Why didn’t you tell me about your shirts sooner? I would have told you about Arrow shirts. They never shrink out of perfect fit. Not even the oxfords.”

“G’wan,” said Joe. “Oxford’s the worst shrinker of all!”

“Maybe,” I replied, “but not Gordon, the Arrow oxford. I know, I’m wearing one. It’s Sanforized-Shrunk—can’t even shrink 1%! Besides, it has Arrow’s unique Mitoga tailored fit! And,” I said reaching a crescendo, “Gordon costs only $2!”

“Swell,” said Joe, “My boss needs a shirt like that. I’ll tell him about Gordon. Maybe he’ll give me an extra quart of oats. And, gosh, do I love oats!"